Do not judge someone who enjoys it, conviction a correct one about what other people think of you because you might do things they do not like that. There is always someone who likes to see things like this and find it hot.
Okay, you're officially a creepy and troubled person, judging by the hours of self-stim and solo masturbation vids you have uploaded. The fact that you insert huge metal rods into your penis and sniff poppers doesn't make you seem sexual; it makes you appear desperate and lacking.